When to Avoid Using “You” in Your Copy

By Karon Thackston © 2012, All Rights Reserved

It’s a mainstay in copywriting tutorials and a fundamental practice that professionals preach constantly. “Always use ‘you’ far more than you use ‘we, us or our’ in your copy.” But this long-standing principle doesn’t hold true 100% of the time. There are times when using “you” in your copy should be avoided.

The End User is not Always the Target Customer or Buyer

Think about the last time you purchased a gift basket. Was it for you? Have you ever bought a gift basket for yourself? No. Why? Because (sadly) we don’t typically buy gifts for ourselves. These purchases are for another person.

What about gift cards? Same deal. While there are some savvy shoppers who will buy gift cards for their own use when they are on sale or come with special bonuses, the vast majority of us only buy gift cards as, well… gifts.

But the gift market isn’t the only one that sees this copywriting occurrence. What about many retirement communities, assisted-living homes or in-home care providers? Overwhelmingly, the children or other family members research and have a significant bearing on the decision about such places/services.

How about business services? For instance, those who provide business-related services to employees oftentimes are not pitching the employees directly. They are, in fact, selling to the human resources department who researches and decides what services will be offered to staff members.

These are just a few examples of the many times where copy would not usually be written to the end user of these products or services. Instead it would be written about your friend, your business associate or your loved one.

Here are a few examples.

One in-home care service in San Diego has this snippet of copy on their site:

Whether you’re in the middle of a crisis or are trying to ward one off, in-home care in San Diego County is available with compassionate, experienced caregivers. You can help your loved ones live independently with dignity, safety and security in the comfort of their own homes for as long as possible, by having us provide award-winning caregivers and personal attendants who provide in-home care for them in their own homes.

Do you see how it is written to the family/friend instead of to the actual person who is in need of in-home care? That’s because (usually) the person with the need isn’t the one doing the searching/evaluating of information. While the end user of these services may have a say in the matter, they are oftentimes not the one actively looking for the information.

At GiftCards.com, we find this copy that speaks to both the shopper and the person receiving the gift:

Select a Visa or MasterCard gift card & choose from over 10,000 images submitted by our artists.  You can browse by occasion, category or keyword to find the ideal gift. Each card can be personalized with a custom greeting card that will bring a smile to your recipient.

Pay attention to your audience when you write. Make sure you’re communicating with the person who is making the buying decision. With the exception of marketing to children and teens, the buyers are the ones with the power of purchase.

If you have a dual audience, include messages for the buyer and the user to accommodate both. If your copy isn’t speaking with the correct person, at the correct time in the process, you could easily lose the sale.